How to Recover from Infidelity: A Guide for Couples Counseling
Infidelity can be a devastating experience for any relationship. It breaks the trust and honesty couples have, but it doesn't mean that it's the end of everything. In fact, there are numerous solutions to cope with infidelity and recover from it. One of the most effective methods to recover from infidelity is by seeking couples counseling. Here, we'll discuss the essential steps that men and women can take to recover from infidelity through couples counseling.
According to LMFT Patrick DeCarlo, committing to discussing uncomfortable feelings for up to six months helps couples recover from infidelity.
1. Talk About It
The first step in recovering from infidelity is to talk about it. Be open and honest with your partner about how you're feeling, what led to the infidelity, and your commitment to moving forward together. Listen to your partner's perspective without interrupting or being defensive. Couples counseling provides a safe environment to have these conversations in a guided and structured way. Couples therapists help couples to communicate more effectively, show empathy and validating their partner's feelings.
2. Acknowledge Your Faults
It's essential to take responsibility for your actions and acknowledge your faults. When you become accountable, you're acknowledging that you've done something wrong and that you want to right things. Take the opportunity to look at what led you to cheat in the first place and address those issues. It won't be a comfortable discussion, but it's essential to move forward. Acknowledging your faults means that you have committed to change and to behave differently.
3. Create Boundaries
Creating boundaries is essential when recovering from infidelity. A third-party is involved, so creating boundaries will be different for every couple. It might mean cutting off contact with the person you cheated with or disclosing your movements to your spouse. Boundaries help build trust and security within the relationship. Couples counseling can be a helpful step in determining the best boundaries for you and your partner and how to navigate them.
4. Commit to the Process
Committing to the process of couples counseling is an essential step to recover from infidelity. Trust takes time to rebuild. It's a process that couples work through to address the issues that led to the infidelity, talk about hurt feelings, and establish new habits. It's a long and intense process, but it's essential to help the couple to heal and rebuild their relationship. Be patient and allow yourself to process it in a way that works best for you.
5. Rebuild Trust
After couples counseling, the last step is to start rebuilding trust. Building trust requires consistent actions that are aligned with your words. Keep open and honest communications and work on rebuilding the connection with your partner. Rebuilding trust takes time, but it's worth it. Through couples counseling, couples learn to communicate, gain a deeper insight into their partner, and become more compassionate.
I often recommend the book, “Surviving Infidelity,” to my clients.
Couples have to take an inventory of what happened in the relationship that selected for infidelity to take hold.
Recovering from infidelity requires patience and commitment from both partners. Acknowledge your faults, create boundaries, and work with your partner to rebuild trust. Couples counseling is an excellent step to facilitate this process. Be open, honest, and try to communicate effectively. Couples counseling helps couples navigate the challenges of cheating, promote personal growth, and deepen their understanding and love for each other. Trust can be rebuilt, and the relationship can become stronger than ever before.